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DEAR DAWG:

We had an educational expert show up on behalf of the parents at a recent ARD meeting. The guy looked like the real package. Glasses. Neatly trimmed Van Dyke beard.  Elbow patches.   Many letters after his name. He used big words. We were pretty intimidated and afraid to ask questions of him, but after he left we got to talking about one phrase he used repeatedly: he said that the student needed to be involved in a “rich educational mildew.”  I thought I was mistaken when I thought I heard this, but it was in his written report also: “rich educational mildew.”  Dawg, that’s a new one on me. What is an educational “mildew”?  DOING MY BEST TO KEEP UP WITH THE LATEST JARGON.

DEAR DOING MY BEST:

We looked it up on Google, where all research begins, and found that “rich educational mildew” will get you to sites that promise to clean up that yucky stuff that gathers on other stuff.  We think “the yucky stuff that gathers on other stuff” is a pretty good definition of “mildew.”  Nothing about education there. We think the use of this phrase should cancel out the elbow patches and at least a couple of his degrees. If you end up in court with this guy, be sure your lawyer HIGHLIGHTS and puts in BIG FONT the “mildew” word.

 

DEAR DAWG:

Dawg, have you ever seen a really good evaluation instrument for coaches?  Our principal is responsible for evaluating the coaches, but she doesn’t know a tight end from a double play. Suggestions?   SURELY THERE IS ONE.

DEAR SHIRLEY:

We’ve seen a few good ones over the years, but the most realistic one we have seen went something like this:

This Coaching Evaluation Instrument is comprised of Eight Domains, designed to fully and comprehensively  evaluate the contributions, strengths and weaknesses of the coach in developing the program, and assisting each student/athlete to become the best player and person he/she can be.

DOMAIN ONE: Win-Loss record

DOMAIN TWO: Did you make the playoffs? DOMAIN THREE: How far did you advance in

the playoffs?

DOMAINS FOUR THROUGH EIGHT: See Domains One, Two and Three.

The more money the coach makes, the truer this is.  The highest paid public employee in the state is about to find this out: Are you listening, Coach Strong?

 

DEAR DAWG:

Can we refuse to hire someone who is still using AOL?  WE OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO.

DEAR WE OUGHT TO:

First of all, the Dawg is surprised to hear that such Luddites can get a job application properly filed. However, those who use AOL are not identified in the law as a “protected class.” That designation protects people from discrimination based on race, gender, religion, age, disability and national origin. But those who cling to outmoded forms of e-communication are not a “protected class.”  Thus a school policy or practice of refusing to hire people whose email address ends in AOL would not have to pass “strict scrutiny” but only the lesser standard of “rational basis.”  Is there a “rational basis” for refusing to hire someone on this basis alone?  We think not. We think you should ask some probing questions of them though. Ask things like: are you still using a rotary phone? Have you advanced from cassette tapes to CD?    Do you know what “streaming” means? What does BYOD mean? Those type of questions should help you ferret out which of these AOL-types are just hopelessly loyal, versus those who don’t have a clue how to survive in the digital world. Hire the first type; not the second.

 

DEAR DAWG:

The latest OCR guidance about sexual harassment and Title IX says that we have to have “culturally competent counselors.” This comes up in their Q and A document in the part where they are talking about LGBT students.  I know about ED students.   LD students. OHI students.   RTI students.   But what are LGBT students?

AND WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH “CULTURE”?

DEAR AND WHAT DOES:

We suggest you Google the term.  If you have to ask what LGBT means, you are not going to qualify as “culturally competent.” Do some research.

 

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